Escape.

I thought leaving Singapore allows me to escape my problems. Well, it does. But I came here only to face my other unsolved ones since 2013. And they are staring at my face every single day for the next 10 days. My life problems looks like a concerto, you think it's over and you -- as audience -- is ready to clap. But the Composer thinks differently. He would smile at the audience and nod to offer the sign of respect, but nevertheless waves His baton again for the more 'exciting' finale -- presto. 

Sometimes I wonder whether I will ever find a place to call home. Have you ever felt like you stuck in between? To never get to feel cozy in my own room at VHall because hostel rules and social expectations stall restrict you from doing anything you want. To never feel at home in Jakarta because the city has unfolded before your eyes, without you in it; as you see everything makes its headway without your consent. To feel lonely during holidays because you don't feel reaching out to your old friends, just because you postulate that they won't empathize or identify with the experience you had or the people you met all this while when you were away. Or simply assuming that they have already had their own lives and new friends; and that you're forgotten for good. (Which proves the notion that friends never really stay when you embark on a new life phase).

Sometimes I really ask myself if I want to really return here should my family are all gone. Would I still fit in? Would I have people to trust? Would people understand me? When I began to see myself adopting a foreign language and accent, I started to lose confidence in speaking my own native language. Watching a local TV headlines makes me cower for some reasons -- many words which I haven't been hearing for the past 2 years or so. When you think that your own native language sounds strange to your ears, you know that yo just lost a part of yourself.

And I seriously think that it's no longer fitting for me to aspire to become a president. I don't know if I really want to abandon the safer track which I can conveniently choose: diving into the business world like what most Indon-Chinese would probably do.

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OMM-SOTA Camp.

This past one week has been somewhat magical, and surreal to me. I expected least from the camp, yet I was so rewarded with many things for the past one week.

Last July, I signed up for an audition to join this camp organized by SOTA + OMM (Orchestra of the Music Makers, a non-profit orchestra). Little did I know that they're good players. Initially I thought we would play simple pieces, and I could easily gained a position as concert mistress. Hahaha you wish, Mei. Turns out that there are a LOT of better players than me in the camp.

First day, we were splitted into several groups for ice-breaking games. My group comprised of amazing talented people: Jorim Jireh (18, NJC), his knowledge of classical music reminds me of Marcel Hanardi, a close friend of mine from TYO. He knows a LOT of pieces, and what is amazing is that he can comment a lot about them (unlike me,... who can AT MOST only say things like  "I LIKE THAT PIECE VERY MUCH"). Amanda Tay, (18, ACSI) I can instantly tell that we will be good friends. Apparently she would become my deskmate!!! I'll talk more about her in awhile. Tzu Zeng,, (16, ACSI). I swear he's so cute that I wish he is my little brother. Sadly he plays double bass, so I didn't have much time to talk to him again after the ice-breaking game.

Much to my disappointment,  I sat at the inner 7th desk. I was kinda hoping for at least 2nd or 3rd desk, but they put me at the back of the orchestra for some reason. Little did I know that there's so much to learn from sitting at the back. We had our first reading session for Mendelssohn's Reformation and Beethoven's Egmont. THEY SOUND UNBELIEVABLY GOOD MUCH TO MY SURPRISE. I really expect very little from the orchestra, but they have pretty good sight-reading skills. I really really enjoyed the sound of the woodwinds sections, they were exceptionally talented because they can produce amazing sound for the first reading session. Bravo.

I learned that sitting at the back requires a lot of skills to keep up with the entire orchestra. You simply couldn't hear anyone from your section but yourself, so you have to either rely on the conductor's baton or the movements of your friends' bows in front. But doing that concurrently with reading the demanding scores is actually way harder than i thought. I always thought I can keep an eye of the conductor while reading the scores, but... nope. For the whole first day I was lagging behind by few notes, and it's actually embarrassing hahaha. But yeah I went back and practiced to familiarize myself with the notes. It gets better as we have more practices the next following days.

The entire practice stretches over 7 hours. 3 hours of tutti practice, 1 hr of break, and another 3 hrs of sectionals. It means 6 hrs of intense practice. I swear we all died after we finish practice each day, but the lessons we learn from every single day are worth the muscle sore and neck pain.

On Friday (5th day of camp), we had Community Project with 50++ little Japanese kids from the kindergarten owned by Tsumugu's mother. I (stupidly) volunteered to present the introduction of strings family to these small kids (coz nobody wants to do it). I really thought I can pull it off easily, I mean, how hard can it be right.... hahahaahahahahhahahahahaa I WAS WRONG. I'm very bad at making friends with kids. I tried to do this draw a link between violin-viola-cello-double bass with the whole analogy sister-mother-grandma thing, but I was really nervous like hell standing in front of all the campers and 50+ children. Thankfully, Bryan Tay actually helped me to improve my script by adding on some elements like 'hiding' the double bass behind and giving the exaggerated sound effects like "ooo double bassssss where areeeee youuuu" and "ITS SO HUGGEEEEEEEEEE" hahaha it was quite fun and nerve-wrecking. Glad that someone is actually helping me out to be shameless lol. Oliver actually liked my presentation (yeay!), and Bryan gave me this Christmas card to thank me today which totally made my day. I rarely met sentimental guys but it's very nice of him to actually spend time writing cards for everyone.

Another special thing about this camp is actually how I was so amazed by Gabriel's bow control through out Wineawski's Violin Concerto No. 2. I cannot even put words into it -- those simple notes were perfectly executed in ways that made the a lot of campers smile in awe (well at least those people sitting near me like Jorim, Michael, and Amanda ahahaha). I can literally listen to him playing that one melody line for years and not complaining. He made me felt heads over heels with this piece -- it quickly became my new favourite track. I wish I can play as good as him someday, so I promise myself to spend hours on doing scales this holiday to perfect my bow control.

Of course, I cannot simply leave out Prof Chan from the list of wonderful things from the camp. His insights and his attitude in making music are remarkable. I feel really honoured to ever play under his baton. He certainly knows what he wants, and he knows how to achieve it just by words to influence how we play. His professionalism in shaping the music gave me an eye-opening experience on how to interpret the pieces we play. He quoted a renowned violinist that the minute we feel drained from practising is actually the time when we should not close the score. Because pushing ourselves a bit further more from what we are capable of, we stretches ourselves to become a better musician by subconsciously exploring a new aspect of ourselves.

And last but not least, I would talk about Amanda Tay. I'm grateful to have her as my deskmate, because if there is one thing I fear most from this camp, is that I would be a total outcast. I knew no one except Tricia who plays double bass (meaning, I cannot stick around her during practice). And the week before, I was working with an awful guy from ACSI in the CIP Committee Group, which makes me even more reluctant to go for the camp. I thought everyone would be like him: arrogant and condescending. But no, I was wrong. Amanda proves that ACSI people are not jerks lol (I have this impression abt them). And she introduced me to her friend Michael, who is very very very funny. He guessed my name as Sarah HAHAHA. He said I look like a 'Sarah' lmao. Amanda and I had dinner just now in Clementi Mall to talk about her 'past' hahaha. It's heartening to see how quickly we become very very close within a week. If we were to come from the same school, we can easily become really really really good friends.

So tomorrow is the big day. I can't believe it's going to end within 24 hrs. I wish I don't have to go to school forever. I know that I really like playing in an orchestra, and I wish my days can be as tiring and fulfilling like I had this whole week -- learning what I really like and be inspired by the people around me.

Thank You for this opportunity you gave me, and I hoped to remember this whole week for the next few years to come.

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20 facts about me.

Not that anyone would actually read this, but I think this is a good personal introspection exercise to know myself better too.

1. I wouldn't trade my violin skill with anything else in this world. It is a part of my identity, something that I'm really really proud of; and no one can take it away from me -- as long as I have my fingers attached. As I said before, I never really envy students who score in exams better than I do because I'm proud of being who I am today. My violin gives me a reason to love my life as it is, and I need to really thank my mom for that. The secret to enjoying life to the fullest is to do what you really like and what you deem as right. For me, I balance my studies with my violin, and it's sufficient to make me happy. I'm quite amazed that both actually compliment one another. My studies brought me to Singapore so that I'm more exposed to more musical opportunities; and at the same time my violin helped me advanced my studies by getting me into VJC. And I'm enjoying the time of my life here.

2. My interest varies a lot. If you give me a whole month of holiday, I would make full use of it to really explore my limits. Currently, I'm learning coding (HTML and CSS). And I plan to take up ice-skating again this December. Let's see how it goes.

3. I don't really like Physics, but I'd like to think that I'm doing pretty good at it. When I was still in Indonesia, my first physics teacher, Mr. Bambang actually inspired me a lot to take up Physics as my major. He doesn't teach us. He simply inspires us. And because of him, I bought some self-help books (for the first time!!) to better understand Physics. But lately i've been asking myself the same question over and over again: is Physics really something I wanted to pursue for university? I don't know. I hope to figure out soon.

4. I'm an extrovert introvert. Basically I'd like to spend most of my time with myself, and maybe occasional hang outs with a friend (mind the use of singular noun). Generally im not comfortable hanging out with a large group of people, because there's a limit to what i can learn from each individual in such outings. It's less personal, and I don't like it.

5. Lmao now about guys. I never really like hot guys, coz you know... they're vain hahaha. I'm more impressed with people with substance. I think this is also applicable to people in general. I like surprises. So if I expect less from you, and you surprises me along the way as I get to know you -- the more I like this person. Okay for e.g. yesterday I saw this ordinary guy from OMM Camp wearing a Game of Thrones t-shirt. First impression? Nice taste of TV series. 10 points for him. Then 5 mins later I learned that he's our soloist for our concert. The next second, he blew everyone away with his rendition of Wineawski's Violin Concerto No. 2 in D minor. 100 points for him. You see, this is what makes people really attractive, not their looks. And it's not merely confined to musical skills. It can be sth like your interest in politics, your interest in magic tricks, photography skills, your wanderlust, the list of books you have read, your insights about people, your cooking skills. Anything.

6.  I hope to travel to Iceland someday and see the Norwegian Lights.

7. I want to learn how to play harp someday.

8. I'm a vegetarian. See my previous post abt 'Specienism' if you'd like to learn why.

9. I'm a big fan of chocolate!!! Esp European chocolates!! I eat one bar everyday hahaha, it's my favourite comfort food :)

10. I have small circle of people whom I really trust. What I really look for is the quality of the friendships, not really the number.

11. I have this weird body alarm that wakes me up at 7 am everyday. No matter how tired I am the night before, I would just wake up at 7 am and be a zombie the whole day.

12. I don't like action movies. Don't ask me to watch James Bond movie with you, it's a waste of money for me. Please give me a substantial movies like Silence of the Lamb or Beautiful Mind, then I will go with you.

13. I never really think through the decisions I made in my life. Coz if I overthink about it, I will end up not making full use of the opportunities available to me. I try to overcome my fear of rejection, and how to best deal with it?? To sign up for everything that's challenge myself without thinking twice. Because once I hit the 'submit button', there's no turning back. It's working pretty well in forcing myself to test my limits. And I'm going to do this more often.

14. If I have to choose between my ipod and my iphone, I would choose my ipod. Can't live without music for a day.

15. I have a love-hate relationship with instagram. I have a private insta just for myself which functions as my diary. I would share my thoughts there if it's concise enough. They do not need audience so I don't open it to anyone.

16. Yes I have a very neat hand-writting, but you wouldn't believe the length at which I trained my hand-writing skills. Then you miiiight want to just keep your current writing style. I have this very neat JC notebook that I always carry around with me at all times. I'm really proud of it hahaha

17. I love green. Partially because that's my brother's favourite colour (when I was little I kinda idolized him so basically I tried to copy everything he likes or he does), but now I personally think that green is beautiful

18. I like travelling very very much, especially with a good company (mind the use of singular noun). Being a traveler is essentially different from being a tourist. Tourist looks around but traveler sees things and learns from them. A good company adds value to my experience because they sometimes gives insights about myself that I didn't know earlier.

19. I tried (hard!!!) to lose weight, but I'm kinda stuck now. Nah, losing weight is no longer my main concern now, but I do cut down my food intake these days.

20. I used to watch anime and read manga (A LOT). I used to be hard core gamer too (for girls standard). But not now. I kinda read a lot now, but if I rarely have time so if the book is not good I won't finish it.







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Inside Out.

There is something wonderful about watching the movie for the second time: I can pay more attention to the message it's trying to convey rather than being emotional over the plot. So here are some of my two-cents worth about the movie:

1. That it is okay to be sad.
Sadness is a wonderful emotion. Crying is perfectly all right. People tend to avoid sadness for some reasons, but personally I sometimes prefer sadness in my emotionless days. Okay, you might think I'm weird, but I strangely find that crying makes me feel good. Sometimes, I prefer watching drama shows than action movies because I can cry over it. Sadness acknowledge my struggles, my shortcomings, my unfulfilled dreams.

2. Perhaps the best way to comfort sad friends is to acknowledge their struggle.
More often than not, I always try to see the more positive side of my friend's problem; hoping that by putting more emphasis on these aspects, I get to cheer them up and stop them from feeling sad. But this movie just taught me, that recognizing one's pain is also an alternative (perhaps even better) way, to provide emotional support for our friends. A friend of mine once said, "The worst thing you can do when I open up is to dismiss my emotions as invalid". Now I began to understand what she meant. Allowing someone to feel sad does not translate to intensifying their emotion. To the contrary, it helps them to feel better much faster because they know that we will be there in every step of their way to recover.

3. Each of us are governed by one dominating emotion.
Joy dominates Riley's control panel, Sadness dominates Mom's, and Anger dominates Dad's. Although all 5 emotions have a play to role in one's life; there will always be one emotion that mostly predominates of our emotion panel. I think mine would be sadness because I have the tendency to reflect and being sentimental to almost everything.

4. Music is very powerful.
One thing that went unnoticed in my first movie experience is that Inside Out has a very compelling soundtrack. I was almost in tears when I heard the soundtrack in the first 10 seconds of the movie, because a surge of mixed emotions flooded in. I cannot decipher what emotions they are, but it gives me this feeling good kind of experience. There is something about how the notes were lined up next to each other. There is a perfect combination of intervals that touches my heart and affects me emotionally.

Thank you Disney for always teaching me new lessons in every movie. I know I will never be too old to watch any.

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Good friend.

As the year comes to its close, another chapter of my life ends. Just like characters in books, some friends stay for the next one, but some won't. There are so many people passing by my life, but this one I am not letting go.

A week ago, on Saturday night, Lize and I met up after 6 (?) months not seeing each other. The thing about close friend is that you can talk almost about anything deep although you haven't met each other for a very long time. Most of the time, catching up session with old friend is an attempt to condense 6 months of your life into 90 minute session, but I'm glad it didn't go that way.

The highlight of that evening was actually when he took me for a mass service in OLOL Church in Bugis. A free thinker himself, he had never wanted to go to the church when I asked him to last year. Surprise, surprise -- a year later, everything has pretty much changed. I'm a skeptical Christian, and he started to believe in the divine power.

He prayed. He sang. He went through all the (boring) rituals with admirable focus and respect.

I was struck. He demonstrated a new-found reverence to my religion. His curiosity and attentiveness were in contrast with my ignorance and arrogance. I looked into myself and could not help but felt ashamed. Ashamed of how far I have attempted to drift away from Him. I am a pretentious sheep trying to travel the hill on my own. I realized how I often thought that I am much smarter than Him, thinking that everything can be explained or done with science or philosophy. But there are more in religion than just myths.

For the first time this year, I felt a surge from within to see Christianity with a new pair of eyes. The eyes of the innocence like Lize's. To listen with pure ears and uncorrupt mind. To receive His blessings with renewed sense of gratitude.

For once, an invisible block was lifted from my eyes. I recognized a dire need to change who I am now; the skeptical Meidy. So, I went to the same church this weekend, filled with much anticipation and longing to participate actively in the mass service. After mass, I really felt a renewed joy and cleaned spirit to start my new week. This is what spirituality is supposed to look like.

An ex-friend of mine once said, a good friend is not somebody who is during your happy times. A good friend is one who help you grow, although it may necessitate you to go through painful realization. Although I cannot see it in what my ex-friend did, but I definitely can see it through Lize.

And like any other wonderful and best memories I had, we didn't take any pictures that night. It went undocumented, and unpublished in Instagram. But it certainly left a great impact in me for the next few years to come.





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2015.

As promised last year, I would again write down some of the most cherished parts of this year to bring 2015 to its close. 2015 has been nothing short of amazing, and I would like to thank these people for that.

1. My most beloved class, 15S42. The class which debunks my perception that I would never ever going to be close friends with Singaporeans. I love you all with my heart and soul. You guys are the reason I wake up every morning feeling energized and filled with anticipation for lessons.

To my tutorial group: Justin Law, Yong En, Hussein, Sze Min. Thanks for tolerating my cleanliness and love for Christopher (my white bag). Thanks for always saving a seat for him and be such a fun tutorial group. We can be serious at times but still very much attentive to Mrs Ting's lessons (not Mrs. Chan's because it will be independent learning anyway lol. Or more like Justin teaching HAHAHA). Hussein's 'investigations' and me being forever pervert lol. Please maintain our chemistry for J2 guys.

To my closer friends in the class: Auggy, Zigi, Nikhil, Michelle, Yong En, Praveen. You guys are the battery of the class. I enjoy playing cards with yall, talking shits during our reccess. Texting with yall can be sometimes very random and filled with bullshits, but you kept me smiling on the days when we don't meet. Thank you.

To Rachael, my pillar of support in bad times (which are mostly PW HAHAHA). Man, I don't know how to survive PW without you, seriously. The guys are just sometimes frustrating, and I really have to thank you for believing in every decision and action I take for our project. There are times I doubt myself, for being too domineering, overly controlling, blunt etc. But I know I will always have you, Being the only person who understand our fucked up group dynamic, we can comfort one another when any of us got pissed off. Thanks for always sharing your precious food with me when I am hungry (or just craving sth to chew). You know very well that hostel food sucks, your bread is always amazing. I'm forever indebted to you coz you were the first local classmate to approach me earlier this year. You brought me closer to class, although ironically, you were the one who didn't end up being close with the class. I am grateful for having a positive soul like you in class.

Thanks 15S42 for being so supportive through concerts, for being crazy during Halloween Horror Night + Chalet, through the exams and all. Highschool is indeed the best part of your life.

2. To Jing Jing and Tianke. I lose count of the numbers we go out together, I think the most memorable one would still be the trip we go to Paya Lebar Night Market and did a food adventure. Yall are the bunch I am closest to in the class, and I sometimes miss you guys when I haven't talked to one of you for days. Tianke is probably the only person who won't roll her eyes everytime I talk about interesting general knowledge. We both always have had things for random books or scientific facts, and I'm glad I can 'talk intelligently' with somebody in the class. Moreover, we share similar American Dream :) Jing Jing is a wonderful bunch of joy. Sharing the pain of living in a hostel, I have spent quite a lot of quality time with her through random dinner, study times, WTA Finals, and joggings!!!! Jogging is less boring with you, with all the talks about guys and what not. We are both despo girls who just want hot handsome intelligent gentlemen to date us HAHAHAHA. I guess we need to wait until 20 LOL we keep on pushing the deadline back for the 999th time. She has a lot of interesting insights and thoughts which are always always encouraging. Whenever I feel shit, or I feel down because of classmates or even friends outside VJ, she will always come to the rescue. We have had countless deep conversations together, and I'm really grateful we are in the same class. My favourite hang out with you is probably IKEA dinner that Friday night. I like impromptu dates, and you reminded me a lot of Lize :)

3. My equally beloved Strings Ensem. We are so small but I feel super super belong in this small group. Music is best shared, playing music alone can sometimes be very lonely. It's the language I speak best with, and yall are the only people who understand me. Special shout out to the SLs and boss HAHAHA, we work pretty well with each other ever since the Por Una Cabeza performance. Sorry if I demand a lot from everyone, but it's because I love you guys so much that I want us to be better. Doing those extra practices is how I translate my love to the CCA, and I really had a good time with you. Strings room is my favourite space in VJ, (if I get to be there alone) lol. Wonderful people with wonderful vibes. Some of the shitiest school days turned not to be so bad after I had our practice session.

4. Haili. We do so many things together from CCAs down to JC Exco and school subjects. We also have the same taste for music, which matters a lot to me. Thanks for walking back to hostel every Wednesday lol (save up money and exercise!), and sharing your stories with me. A lot of my friends ship us together but seriously we have sunken that ship way down to deep (*sigh* only we know). I like listening to your stories about the books you've read, especially those cheem stuffs about politics, (I will forever not understand politics but it's always interesting to know sth you dont know abt). We share the pain of not getting good grades for history but look at you now taking H3 and featured for model essays, siala. I guess passion always keeps you going (meanwhile here I am struggling to make sense of my own region's history). Thanks for the movies we go to (ALWAYS Cold War related wow), random talks, book store visits, etc etc. Please buff up and become a hot guy so you can upgrade yourself from my nerd friend to my hot-but-sadly-fake boyfriend. YEAH.

5. Shania. It's surprising to see how we never run out of things to talk about every weekday morning. The two of us never really go out together on dates like Jinjing and I do, but our friendship transcends  much more than what people see from the outside. The best conversations we had is when no one is in the room but us, two souls talking to each other. I know I can always seek you for counsel about almost anything. Your mature way of thinking and bird-eye view are something that I rarely see in people. Sharing your thoughts about the future of our country inspires me a lot to return to Indonesia. Although there are times when your concern over your appearance gave you low self-esteem, please always remind yourself of this hidden gem of yours -- a person with charisma, sharp mind, and sound judgement.

 I always see these people as my angels sent from the above, who care and guide me as I embarked on a journey called JC 1. I feel blessed to know that He never really left me afterall, despite what I had done to Him this year. Cheers to my 2nd last year in Singapore.

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Speciesist.

Animals are not brethern, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time

 -Henry Beston

I felt terribly sick after watching "Earthlings - Full Documentary". It is no coincidence that I came to watch this video. As any usual weekend morning, I continue reading my A.C. Grayling's book The Meaning of Things.  One of its chapters focuses on Speciesism; a term new to my ears. They talked about vegans, and I immediately send those 3 pages of discussion about Speciesism to my brother, who is a vegetarian. I have never really relate with his reason for being a vegetarian, until today.

He suggested me to watch the video which changes his mind about being an omnivore, the Earthlings -- Full Documentary in Youtube. It changes my life forever.

I found that there is a parallel between our excuses in mistreating animals and those for maltreating humans. 

"We locate a difference that we find threatening, or that we despise; we thereby make the other fully Other, so that we can close the door of the moral community against him, leaving him outside where our actions cannot be judged by the same standards as apply within.

Racism and speciesism are thus the same thing -- there are myths about who belongs and who is alien".

We take things for granted. We do not care enough or want to know more about what happened in slaughterhouses because we stay in the comfort of our houses, eating the meat provided into our plates without questioning how these animals were treated in the first place. We are shielded, from the nightmares, the blood-soaked floors, the whining, the brutal living conditions, which I will elaborate more now.

We live with the assumption that these animals are living a good life before they are slaughtered. That smiling pig face on the canned tin wrapping around your ham, that happy and healthy cow grazing on a expansive green field on your milk carton. These companies cloud us from the harsh reality that we are humanely treating these animals for our consumption -- and therefore justified.

Little did we know that pigs are bred in atrocious living condition, where food are scarce and hygiene is none of our concern. Cannibalism is common, where pigs eat on each other's tails and ears -- which thus give birth to the ear and tail docking practices. People remove pigs ears and tails with tweezers and without anaesthesia. I forced myself to see their blood spurting out from a piglet's ear and listen to the excruciatingly painful sound they produce as humans inhumanely treat these animals to their own interest. 

Cows are put into this Kosher machine where people will put them upside down and slit their throat. Painless killing is something very expensive and time consuming -- something that humans can not afford to constantly satisfy the increasing demand of food consumption. Any type of eunasthasia will take far too long to be fully administered to theses beasts. 

You thought that milking process goes like something you saw from those Western movies about farming life. You thought it will be something like Harvest Moon (well that is what I thought). Little did we know that milking cows are injected with special hormones which force them to produce milk excessively, with no break in between, and no exercise. These milking cows will die from exhaustion and will be butchered as meat which you usually consume in fast food restaurants.

Watching the documentary makes me really think about humans desire to control and to reign over this planet. Earthlings simply refers to the inhabitants of Earth. No race or species is concerned. Be it mammals, vertebrae or invertebrae -- we all share the same desires: desire for food, water and shelter. Desire for companionship. Desire for freedom of movement. And desire for avoidance of pain. These desires are shared between human and non-humans alike; therefore animals actually comprehend several similar things like humans do.

I have never really considered speciesism in the same way I see racism, or sexism. All these while, I always think that it is natural for humans to feed on animals; firstly because they are lesser beings, and secondly, I assume that animals are treated humanely for our consumption. I keep on telling myself that those brutal living conditions only apply to very few slaughterhouses, with most having turned to more acceptable methods after receiving much criticism from those who advocate animal rights.

But I am wrong. This documentary proves otherwise. There are still a lot of malpractices happening around the world, and we do nothing about it. We are now living in a giant delusional bubble, protected from spatters of blood, stench of rotten animals, and their helpless cries. 

The documentary is 1.5 hours long but as much as I wanted to force myself to continue watching it, I gave up after 30 mins of non-stop brutality. This is a good reality check for all of us, and I highly recommend everyone to watch it. Who knows, one day we will all stop consuming animals, as we all now stop differentiating races.

I decided to embark on a journey to become a vegetarian. It is not easy, but I hope more people will become more aware and jump into this bandwagon with me.

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