Speciesist.

Animals are not brethern, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time

 -Henry Beston

I felt terribly sick after watching "Earthlings - Full Documentary". It is no coincidence that I came to watch this video. As any usual weekend morning, I continue reading my A.C. Grayling's book The Meaning of Things.  One of its chapters focuses on Speciesism; a term new to my ears. They talked about vegans, and I immediately send those 3 pages of discussion about Speciesism to my brother, who is a vegetarian. I have never really relate with his reason for being a vegetarian, until today.

He suggested me to watch the video which changes his mind about being an omnivore, the Earthlings -- Full Documentary in Youtube. It changes my life forever.

I found that there is a parallel between our excuses in mistreating animals and those for maltreating humans. 

"We locate a difference that we find threatening, or that we despise; we thereby make the other fully Other, so that we can close the door of the moral community against him, leaving him outside where our actions cannot be judged by the same standards as apply within.

Racism and speciesism are thus the same thing -- there are myths about who belongs and who is alien".

We take things for granted. We do not care enough or want to know more about what happened in slaughterhouses because we stay in the comfort of our houses, eating the meat provided into our plates without questioning how these animals were treated in the first place. We are shielded, from the nightmares, the blood-soaked floors, the whining, the brutal living conditions, which I will elaborate more now.

We live with the assumption that these animals are living a good life before they are slaughtered. That smiling pig face on the canned tin wrapping around your ham, that happy and healthy cow grazing on a expansive green field on your milk carton. These companies cloud us from the harsh reality that we are humanely treating these animals for our consumption -- and therefore justified.

Little did we know that pigs are bred in atrocious living condition, where food are scarce and hygiene is none of our concern. Cannibalism is common, where pigs eat on each other's tails and ears -- which thus give birth to the ear and tail docking practices. People remove pigs ears and tails with tweezers and without anaesthesia. I forced myself to see their blood spurting out from a piglet's ear and listen to the excruciatingly painful sound they produce as humans inhumanely treat these animals to their own interest. 

Cows are put into this Kosher machine where people will put them upside down and slit their throat. Painless killing is something very expensive and time consuming -- something that humans can not afford to constantly satisfy the increasing demand of food consumption. Any type of eunasthasia will take far too long to be fully administered to theses beasts. 

You thought that milking process goes like something you saw from those Western movies about farming life. You thought it will be something like Harvest Moon (well that is what I thought). Little did we know that milking cows are injected with special hormones which force them to produce milk excessively, with no break in between, and no exercise. These milking cows will die from exhaustion and will be butchered as meat which you usually consume in fast food restaurants.

Watching the documentary makes me really think about humans desire to control and to reign over this planet. Earthlings simply refers to the inhabitants of Earth. No race or species is concerned. Be it mammals, vertebrae or invertebrae -- we all share the same desires: desire for food, water and shelter. Desire for companionship. Desire for freedom of movement. And desire for avoidance of pain. These desires are shared between human and non-humans alike; therefore animals actually comprehend several similar things like humans do.

I have never really considered speciesism in the same way I see racism, or sexism. All these while, I always think that it is natural for humans to feed on animals; firstly because they are lesser beings, and secondly, I assume that animals are treated humanely for our consumption. I keep on telling myself that those brutal living conditions only apply to very few slaughterhouses, with most having turned to more acceptable methods after receiving much criticism from those who advocate animal rights.

But I am wrong. This documentary proves otherwise. There are still a lot of malpractices happening around the world, and we do nothing about it. We are now living in a giant delusional bubble, protected from spatters of blood, stench of rotten animals, and their helpless cries. 

The documentary is 1.5 hours long but as much as I wanted to force myself to continue watching it, I gave up after 30 mins of non-stop brutality. This is a good reality check for all of us, and I highly recommend everyone to watch it. Who knows, one day we will all stop consuming animals, as we all now stop differentiating races.

I decided to embark on a journey to become a vegetarian. It is not easy, but I hope more people will become more aware and jump into this bandwagon with me.

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I am a messed. (This is gonna be a veeery short insignificant post)

Why does the feeling of liking someone making me so inferior? I always believed that I am in control of my own emotions, and I wouldn't let anyone to have the power to make me feel otherwise.

But the whole idea of liking someone changes everything.

I lose control of my own emotions. They are now dependent on how the person reacts and behave towards me. Whether they reciprocated my feelings and acts of kindness, whether they care or not. I am left guessing the meaning behind every whatsapp reply, through his action, through his facial countenance every time we see each other. It's frustrating when you know your first assumption was wrong because you have to re-start guessing again and make new assumption.

But I found something much worse than that. Which is to hopelessly invest your emotion to somebody that you know will not reciprocate your feelings. Ever. But you still do anyway.

I hate myself for feeling dependent on somebody. For having to ride a roller-coaster ride which I know for sure only goes downwards.

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You Can't Stop the Beat.

This morning I had the privilege of sleeping on a nice comfy bed in an air-conditioned room (Halleluyah) and TELEVISION (for those who don't know, I'm a movie junkie and living without TV or kickasstorrent is diffiCULT). So, I spent the whole morning tuning in to HBO, and came across Hairspray movie, which I obviously forgot what it is about since I watched it LONG LONG TIME AGO. I had a good impression about the movie so I decided to re-watch it again. Surprisingly, I picked up totally different learning points, compared to last time. My mind was immediately flooded with inspiration and determination. I simply couldn't wait to pen down my thoughts about the movie, so here I go.

It has been my wildest dream as a future president to integrate both the natives and the Chinese in my country. Currently we do not have serious segregation problem like apartheid in USA (yet), but the line is drawn pretty clearly. The Chinese will dominate the economy sector, running big businesses, opening up international branches; while the natives mostly dominate the civil service and lower paying jobs. 

To give you a bit of background of Indonesia, I shall elaborate a bit on our social structure. We generally see locals children attending government school, and the adults working as taxi drivers, domestic workers, construction workers, shop assistants, waiters, police, and civil servants. Meanwhile, the Chinese students will attend private schools (considered as better schools because we set our higher standards than the one set up by our MOE). Inevitably, with better funding, the private schools are adorned with cutting-edge facilities, books, and highly-skilled teachers. The ratio of students is tipping towards the Chinese, with perhaps 3 locals in a classroom of 35 students. Although they do blend well in the classroom settings, the condition I observe outside school is largely incomparable to that of my school. There is wide chasm between the 2 races, which remains unbridgeable, until today.

Although the ascension of Ahok as our first Chinese governor bring about promises and much optimism for the Chinese; there isn't so much room for any progress. Many people wanted to bring him down by spreading false rumours about him, making a controversy out of his race just because they do not like the stern approach he's adopting to solve the existing inherent problem in Jakarta.

It's still very difficult to break free from that line of thought -- that they are different from us. And we are different from them. Especially in the eyes of the fanatics.

There is also this stereotype which permeates our society (or at least the people around me), that politics are dirty, and anyone who climbed up the ladder rung by rung with dishonesty, nepotism, and connection. Those with connections can easily pave their way up to rise through the ranks, even without being equipped with the necessary capability to assume the role. As legions of unskilled politicians sit on the top of the hierarchy, more policies passed went unchecked, more ineffective laws -- which only benefit a specific group of people -- are implemented. The whole system is so messed up and Indonesia's ability to break out of poverty and internal problem of corruption grows dangerously thin. This frustrates me a lot.

Anyway, going back to my earlier discussion about the movie (O geez I digressed so much??), I realized that for any successful integration to happen, I need to get the locals to come and support my cause. We need some of them -- especially the more influential ones -- to fight alongside us; just like when Tracy bravely protested together with the Blacks on the street and held accountable for assaulting the chief officer (quite hilarious i swear). My point is, that we need to fight together. Not only those who will receive benefit from the success of any campaign; but also involve the group of people who are initially against us. Slowly lure them and convince them that our cause is the right thing to do. This would significantly reduce the chances of our movement being clamped down or nipped at its bud, because the fanatics could not possibly strip down a movement which their own kind feel strongly about. 

Interestingly, the movie also features John Travolta as Tracy's pessimistic mother. She kept on discouraging Tracy from reaching for her stardom -- not because she disliked the whole idea of pursuing the Arts like most of 21st century parents do -- but because she loved Tracy so much and wanted to shield her from the cruel reality of the entertainment industry which will never accept somebody different like them (Tracy and her mother are obese). It reminds me a lot of my mom, who (more often than not) shot down my ideas, telling me that becoming a pres is nearly impossible, convincing me to leave Indonesia for good, and lead a good life in America, switching to green card. But I was awe-inspired by Tracy's endless determination to go for what she wants. To go for any possible opportunities offered into her plates. To insist on everything she deserves. To take back what people stole from her. And to care about making a difference.

I really encourage everyone here to go and watch  Hairspray! Especially those people who really like musicals like me :P I'm gonna end off with my favourite song from Glee/Hairspray

'Cause you cant stop 
The motion of the ocean 
Or the sun in the sky 
You can wonder if you wanna 
But I never ask why

And if you try to hold me down 
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say 
That you cant stop the beat!

No one is gonna stop me from dreaming big. Yes I am an idealist.

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Too Much La.

Studying abroad promises oceans of possibilities to outgrow yourself; but at the same time, it exposes you to many challenges. It makes you vulnerable as you become the minority in this foreign land. You are different, and you can't help it but to meet people (natives) who will see you as a pest -- a threat to their own kind, as you join their rat race. No matter how hard you tried to blend in, there will always be something that gives away. Sometimes it's your face. Sometimes it's your weird accent. Sometimes, it's your grades which tells people that you are a scholar. The last one is the worst kind of stereotype which I hate most. It is not like we did it in purpose to annoy anyone. It is painful that some people can't just see pass through our grades and label us as scholars. It is fucking frustrating.

During my first 2 years in Singapore, I hated school very much. Teachers often singular us out as scholars, and my local classmates have had their own cliques, making it difficult for us to blend in. I don't really feel belong to IJ, and deep down, I really wanted to make friends with Singaporeans. But my poor English skills often put me down, and I was less inclined to converse with them in the first few months. They talked insanely fast like bullet-train and I barely could catch a word. After months of adaptation, I have improved quite a lot and gained quite a bit of confidence, I had high hopes in JC to really start anew.

JC is the time to re-invent myself, leaving behind the old me and meet new people. I do get along with my classmates now, and I really started to think that these people do not see me as a scholar. During PV session, I shared a bit with them about the pain of living away from your family, and how awful it is to label someone as scholar. Those who knew me quite long enough will know how I changed my accent since I came to VJ. Earlier this year I have promised myself not to adopt Singlish accent, but guess what I am officially adopting it now. I switch accents as I talk to different group of people. But really, adopting local accent gives me much leeway to blend in easily. I am really glad to be a part of my classmates and CCA now. Somehow I feel that the barrier no longer exists and I started to feel accepted here.

But honestly, I have no idea what goes into their mind everytime they see me every morning. Sometimes I wonder. Is it just Meidy or is it Meidy-the-Indonesian-scholar that they see?

Just when I thought I could blend in, somebody prove me wrong.

I seriously have no idea how to react to such offensive remarks I received today. I guess PW makes you feel frustrated and angered; but no one in the right mind would offend their group mate right behind her back. I didn't know if I even wronged him in the first place. The worst you can do is to curse the project, and not your partner. But congrats, I have made up my mind not to even act nice to you anymore. The insincerity of your apology speaks a lot of how you really mean what you said earlier. You can't swallow the words you have mouthed, and simply brushing it off as a 'joke' is really the most coward and shameful thing you can do. Claiming that you can't handle people well (read: socially awkward when it comes to saying sorry) won't solve the problem. You see, apologizing through another person CANNOT translates to sincere apology. If you genuinely want to restore the friendship, then at least some effort need to be done to really mend what you have ruined. You, need to grow up and take ownership of your mistakes.

I decided to not care and make myself feel better by buying a cup of coffee from Starbucks and reflect. I read a very insightful philosophical book, and even jot down some of the exciting plans for my country in my book-for-random-stuff if I ever become a president someday.

You know, one think that I learned from books is that psychologically, angry men wanted to inflict pain on their enemies, and obliterate them. He thinks that being angry will drive me away into a psychological diaspora of submission. He thinks such remarks will make me feel inferior, supposedly change they way I behave in class. Yes, I am reminded of my identity as foreign students but you are not even close in making me feel like I should give up any of my visions. I am an ambitious person and I won't, ever, let you get into my way. I simply need to cross you out from my list of people who mattered, and move on with life.


Lately I am exposed to different types of people, and it's just getting more interesting.




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