Random.

Hi blog. So the reason of writing this post is no other than boredom. Yes ironically i feel bored in this long-awaited holiday. This is my ONE and ONLY longest holiday in my life before the glorious O-Level comes into picture next year.

I have been waiting for this holiday since I had my end of year examination, and I have tried my best to bear every single school choir practice to finally have my holiday I deserve. And now I spend it half-heartedly.

I went to the mall with my mom just now, TA, to watch the new Disney production, Frozen, which was... quite disappointing. Well, my friends said that it was damn good, even better than my all-time favorite Disney movie yet, Tangled, however this movie didn't manage to deliver any wow factor to me. Maybe I raised my bar higher than I was supposed to. Especially, when you just watched a super awesome mind-boggling movie like Catching Fire. Ok im here not to give some movie reviews so I'd better get going.

On my way back to home, my mind was wandering and thinking, reflecting back my whole year in Singapore. No actually it started a bit earlier -- when I swam this morning. You know how lonely when you're swimming and my mind was just wandering around for the entire time in the pool. And surprisingly, I was thinking in English. 

People said that when you have felt comfortable with a language, you will think, dream, and even BREATH in English (exaggerated). Well initially I never thought I would reached that level but I think I started to.

Honestly I really miss speaking English to my friends back in the hostel and school. When you only have your parents who don't speak English fluently, 24 hours a day, you feel just awkward when you try to. So what can I do? .... I speak to myself in English in my mind. Nah, I sound crazy.

I'm out of my mind. So, (sigh) I decided to blog away. It's a more productive way of spending my free time and I hope it would be beneficial to my composition next year, ha..ha...ha (mugger mindset detected)

Anw, I do really miss my hostel friends. I never thought I would. Back in Singapore, they are like my second family. My dinners have always been so eventful and delightful to me with all the chattering and (cough) fangirling (cough).

We share our bottles of chilli ACROSS (again) ACROSS tableS (plural). And when everyone got a spoonful of it, you end up having your new chilli bottle half empty (hahahaha). The joy of sharing :p

Even though we meet every day, we never ran out of topics to talk about. Our conversations have always been cheerful and sometimes I did eat my dinner slowly or stay back to listen to my friends talking. Now my dinner is.. peaceful. Too peaceful.

Oh, I'm just going to be totally random so now I want to talk about my holiday so far. Well, I just got back from Australia 2 days ago. We went to Sydney and Melbourne, and the 16-day trip was UHMAZING. Mostly because of my cute little cousins who barely speak Indonesian and I got to bully them for the whole 2 weeks. I never thought I would want a little brother for myself until I met them. But it turns out that having little brothers can be cool (and challenging). You know what, when I was young I used to imagine myself slapping my little brother face, (in case I had one), just to make him cry. I loved to make baby suffers (ok now I sound creepy and heartless).

OH OH and the beforehand, the minute I got into the airplane from Singapore to Sydney, I was LITERALLY OVERWHELMED by the number of bule around me. They were literally everywhere and we were like the only Asians sitting in the same compartment. I was blown away. At that point of time, it was my first encounter to such a number of bule in the same time. My face was beaming with joy and I sat next to a handsome mid-20s guy (norak detected). All in all it was a pleasant flight with amazing dinner and desert.

I spent my first week in Sydney and my first destination was Maddame Tussaud (HAHAHA AS YOU CAN GUESS WHY). They had a One Direction Wax Tour and I went crazy because I thought the waxes were supposed to be in London at that time. I sat next to the artificial Liam who looked nothing like him up close. But it was the closest encounter I can be with this supermegafoxyawesome group band so I kept my mouth shut. They even had handprints of each member, so... that day was amazing. A day spent with waxes.

Ok, first of all, I must say (or rather complain): that EVERYTHING THERE WAS SO OVERPRICED. Living in Singapore itself I think was expensive enough, but it turns out that it was EVEN WAY MORE EXPENSIVE THERE. Food court was a pain in the ass to look out for. I barely found one in a kilo. And even though I had found one, the food was like 9 dollars a portion. Luckily they were big so I always shared with my mom. And they have Pie Face shop in every 500 m or even less. Things to take note: they sell FANTASTIC BACON CHEESE EGG MEATPIE which is VERY EXPENSIVE (5 dollars each) but DEFINITELY WORTH IT. (1 AUD = Rp 11000)

Umm... what else? Oh, the Sydney Opera House was just plain ordinary. Hahahaha I guess I'm not a fan of architecture, but honestly it was just...a group of huge sea shells in my eyes.

BUT THE BEACH WAS GREAT. There was this beach called Manly Beach which can be accessed by a ferry and it was the highlight of the city (personally). I watched people surf FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME and I think they were just plain awesome. The water was very cold and I saw a lot of people playing volleyball by the shore. Ah, if only East Coast Park had volley nets.

These few paragraphs don't really sum up everything about the trip, but you can always check on my Facebook album and you'll find the photos which depict the awesomeness a little bit better.

Now let's talk about my hostel friends. So nowadays everyone has been fretting about being jomblo during the holidays. I don't know what triggered this chain of jomblo feelings but they were spreading among us really quick. Yesterday was 11/12/13 and they were sorry for having no one to 'confess'  on that day hahaha. Geez. You know what, I doubt that any of us will get together by the end of Sec 4. We are as close as brothers and sisters and I don't think it will go any further than that. But who knows, after seeing my seniors these past few months, things might change in 2014.

Oh, and as I'm writing this post, I'm also eating martabak manis which was on the top of my food craving list. Now I feel accomplished.

By the way, I haven't touched my homework yet so I feel a bit guilty as I'm writing this post. I'm supposed to do a speech assignment in my laptop but apparently blogging seems less stressful, so.

I guess I'll end my post here. See you again some time later, blog. Thanks for being my listening ear.

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Hampa.

Okay I admit that this is not a good title for a new posting. Sejak posting Usia Panik yang udah super lama, gua udah lulus SMP, dapet beasiswa ke SG, berangkat ke SG, dan sekarang posisinya gua udah tinggal di sini 6 bulan. Hidup gua banyak ups and downs dan banyak cerita yang mau gua share, tapi ga tau mulai darimana. Oke.

Sebenernya gua lagi bosen. Gua lagi libur habis selesai mid year exam (MYE) dan jujur gua ga tau mau ngapain. Singapur itu kecil banget dan kayaknya gua udah jelajahin semua tempat. Gua bukan anak mall, jadi   baru pergi ke Orchard 5-6 kali selama 6 bulan di SG menurut gua udah cukup ngebosenin. Toh lu ga bisa beli apa-apa. Kalo nyoba baju, yang ada gua makin nyesek karena gua terlalu cipe untuk keluarin duit seberapa pun buat beli baju, atau, sadar kalo bajunya ga muat dan gua terlalu gemuk buat baju itu. Bye.

Di sini gua agak stres, stres BANGET malah. Ga tau ya... kayak... apa yang gua lakuin kayaknya ga cukup. Entahlah. Semua orang udah bilang kalo ntar gua ke SG, pasti lu ngrasa orang-orang sekitar lu itu jenius mati dan lu tuh upil. Pertama gua ga percaya dan nyoba jadi orang optimis and tell myself kalo I will be one of those people whom others look up to. Tapi kenyataannya, gua upil.

Oke ini curcol setelah gua dapet sebagian hasil MYE gua KEMAREN. Matematik gua okelah ya A1, I expected that. Cuman humanities gua itu loh (History & Social Studies), ANCUR GILA. Bego banget lagi salahnya sialan deh GUA SALAH BACA SOAL (atau salah jawab soal, take it whatever you want). Sistem di SG itu sialan banget, lu belajar teori bahannya BANYAAAAAAAAK banget tapi yang keluar cuman berapa soal sodara-sodara? Dua.

Nah kalo lu salah satu aja ya nilai lu di deduct nyaris separo dan itu yang buat gua kesel setengah idup. Gua udah nyicil sejak jaman kapan ga tau deh woi tapi gara-gara itu soal yang keluar gua nyaris FAIL. Mungkin buat orang yang sangat pengertian akan sistem nilai di IJ, dia bakal pat me on the back and say: "Untung ga fail lah med". Tapi sebagai seorang GUA yang benci kalah (in this case, not fulfilling your own expectations), gua berasa gagal. Gua jadi pesimis entah kenapa. Pas term 1, nilai gua tuh oke. Pas ngliat hasil term 2 yang turun begini, gua jadi pesimis. Ntar gua O Level gimana nasibnya. Stres deh.

Entah kenapa gua ngrasa effort yang gua put for the exams ga sebanding dengan hasilnya. Gua udah rajin setengah mati dan menurut pengamatan gua yang (mungkin) akurat, gua lebih rajin dari sebagian besar anak-anak sini. Bukannya nyombong, tapi gua emang orangnya begitu, prepare pas lu bisa, ga suka mepet-mepet baru belajar. Tapi entah kenapa untuk humanities, hasil gua lebih jelek dari mereka yang waktu belajarnya lebih sedikit dari gua. Sekarang gua skeptical, apakah gua telah waste my time for something not worth it.

Apa method belajar gua yang ngaco, apa gua yang ga bisa ngurus waktu, ga tau lah. Gua kecewa sama diri gua sendiri dan kayaknya cuman blog gua yang ngerti (atau mendengar). Gua ga bisa cerita ke temen gua di Indo karena mereka ga akan ngerti kondisi nya disini. Lagipula gua ngrasa kita udah ga punya common things to talk about these days and it keeps us distant. Yah but I can't help it. And they can't help it. We have our own lives now and it seems implausible to even think that I can still be their friend whom they can confide in, or in this case, I can confide to. Gua ga bisa cerita sama temen gua di sini, karena mereka usaha mereka berbuah, dan gua ngga. Gua udah cerita ke mami, tapi kayaknya dia juga ga ngerti gimana rasanya. Gua ga bisa cerita ke koko, karena masalah jarak. Entahlah, gua ngrasa hidup di SG artinya lu harus bisa bener-bener mandiri dalem ngadepin masalah pribadi.

Cukup soal pelajaran. Sekarang soal temen. Dulu hidup gua di Sanur sangat amat bahagia. Sekolah cewek semua tapi gua ga masalah. Gua enjoy banget hidup gua di Sanur. Tugas-tugasnya berat, dan kadang lu harus tidur malem. Tapi gua selalu ngrasa semangat tiap kali bangun pagi buat ke sekolah. Gua semangat mau ketemu temen-temen gua, dan ada beberapa pelajaran yang bener-bener gua tunggu-tunggu tiap minggunya. Gurunya ada yang seru, dan sekolah di sekolah cewek tuh ga seburuk yang orang-orang bayangin. Gua belajar hidup mandiri, dimana lu ga butuh cowok di hidup lu dan ga ada drama orang pacaran putus nyambung. I found my bestfriends there, dan gua bisa share anything I want tentang topik-topik ga jelas yang seru. Gua berasa Sanur itu rumah kedua gua. Walaupun jujur, kita ga banyak ngadain cup or big school events whatsoever, tapi bagi gua Sanur itu sekolah yang ga akan pernah gua seselin masuk.

Nah, karena gua berasal dari sekolah cewe semua, gua pikir gua akan mengalami hal yang sama di SG. Sekolah gua di SG juga cewe semua, dan gua berharap gua bisa jadiin sekolah ini jadi something I look forward to in the morning. Tapi kenyataannya ngga. Entah kenapa ada "gap" between scholars sama Singaporeans. Mungkin karena kendala bahasa jadi gua ga gitu ngerti jokes mereka, tapi menurut gua, apa yang mereka find as interesting itu ga seberapa interesting buat gua. Mungkin alesan lainnya ya karena gua ga gitu ngerti kalo mereka lagi ngomongin guru yang udah ngajar mereka 2 taun belakangan ini, tapi hal-hal lain juga menurut gua ga begitu appealing to talk about.

Satu hal yang gua kangenin dari Indo itu music life gua. Disini gua berharap gua bisa gali passion gua lebih dalem lagi, tapi ya namanya tinggal di hostel, lu ga bisa berbuat banyak. Dulu di rumah gua bisa latian biola dua jem lamanya. Ngulang tangga nada sampe tangan rasanya mau patah dan kuping panas saking bosennya. Tapi di sini gua super sungkan kalo latian tangga nada lebih dari 10 menit. GILA GA. Guru Indo gua aja bilang kalo mau latian tangga nada harusnya SATU JEM. Percaya deh, gua sendiri sebel kalo disuruh latian tangga nada, tapi gua sadar kalo tangga nada itu bener-bener necessary buat improve lu main lagu-lagu lain. Nah gimana gua mau bagusin tangga nada kalo latian ga bisa lama-lama? Ga ada orang yang komplen sih selama ini, cuman gua ya sadar kalo tangga nada emang annoying, dan gua ga mau orang jadi sebel kalo tiap kali gua latian. Coba di hostel ada ruang musik soundproof  yang bisa gua pake seenak jidat. Dunia akan sedikit lebih indah.

Gua juga ngarep kalo di sini gua bisa join orkes. Tapi kenyataannya orkes youth nya SG ga buka pendaftaran dan website nya seakan-akan ditelantarin ga diupdate lagi. Gua berasa passion musik gua perlahan-lahan menguap. Di Indo gua cinta banget sama hari Minggu karena gua bisa latian TYO. Walaupun lagunya terus diulang-ulang sampe bener-bener nguasain (kadang-kadang setaun bisa cuman 2 lagu), tapi gua berasa "idup" in that sense. Gua ngrasa punya life purpose dimana gua bisa tampil di panggung as a result of gua ngeles tiap minggu. Gua paling seneng kalo orang apresiasi talent gua dan gua bisa share the joy to those who are listening to my music. Di Indo gua punya banyak banget temen 'ngamen'. Kalo kenal satu, pasti dikenalin yang lain, kenal sama A B C D E trus ntar diajak ngamen di mana-mana dan hasilnya juga lumayan. Ga seberapa sih, tapi gua seneng aja kalo biola bisa dijadiin side job lu selain belajar sekolah. Gua bener-bener bisa sharing sama temen-temen orkes gua dan kadang-kadang kita share teknik-teknik dan lagu-lagu bagus. Kita nonton konser bareng dan discuss so many stuff. Di hostel, gua ga bisa share ke siapa-siapa. Ya ada beberapa orang memang yang bisa gua ajak ngomong soal musik, tapi yang serius di klasik cuman bisa diitung pake jari di satu tangan. Gua udah nyoba "ngidupin" lagi gemuruh gelora musik gua dengan duet bareng Wece, dan IT REALLY HELPS. Tapi itu cuman ngidupin beberapa minggu doang dan setelah gua selesain lagunya, gua ngrasa hampa lagi. Sekarang gua belum nemu lagu lain yang bisa dipake buat duet dan gua ngrasa sangat...amat... mati.

Gua ga pernah ngerasa bosen di Indo. Kalo liburan pasti gua jalan sama temen gua, atau gua jalan sama mami. Life has never been really boring. Kadang gua bahkan korek-korek game lama gua macem PS1 dan nglanjutin Harvest Moon gua yang udah super kaya sampe bosen, tapi itu seru. Gua bisa ke mangdu trus beli kaset bajakan. Gua bisa nonton TV (OH GOD HOW I MISS MY TV CABLE) dan nonton marathon America Next Top Model yang sebenernya abal tapi tetep gua tonton karena gua demen fotonya. Atau ngulang nonton Glee yang jalan cerita nya lama-lama pathetic tapi tetep aja gua tonton. Gua bisa download lagu ngehit jaman sekarang karena gua ngikutin MTV Chart Attack tiap kali di TV. Gua bisa nonton award-award luar negeri yang biasanya air live di TV. Gua bisa ke Dufan tiap kali kelar ulum bareng temen-temen Sanur dan ga pernah bosen naik wahana yang itu-itu aja dan super ga aman karena harness nya kadang-kadang longgar. Lu tetep mau naik walaupun chance lu mati bisa 30%. Lu tetep naik arung jeram walaupun lu tau airnya super jorok. Gua bisa makan es krim Magnum kapan pun gua mau karena harganya cuman 8 ribu. (Di sini 8 dolar. Sinting ga) Gua bisa makan makanan masakan mami yang super enak dan ga ngebosenin walaupun udah diulang-ulang selama 15 taun. Gua bisa makan KFC tiap minggu karena harganya cuman 15 ribu (Disini 6 dolar. Sinting juga). Gua bisa nonton bioskop dengan harga 35 ribu (Di sini 12 dolar, mending gua makan enak). GUA BISA SEMUANYA.

Lalu apa yang bisa gua lakukan disini? Makan, nonton film-film lama di LAPTOP (mana seru coba. Enakan juga pake home theater) , berenang (oke ini gua admit salah satu poin positif di SG. Kolam renangnya gede trus kinclong trus cuman bayar LIMA PULUH SEN. Wow), baca novel, latian biola, internetan. Sekian. Hampa gila hidup gua. Gua udah agak bosen dengan makanan hostel yang itu-itu aja. Terutama sayurnya ya Tuhan, kuning-kuning ijo sangat tawar... Kalo ada mami, sayurnya bisa dikombinasiin sama telor lah sama tomat lah, sama yang lain-lain deh, jamur kek apa kek. POKOKNYA ENAK. Trus di sini gua
 juga jarang make internet buat main karena gua juga udah meninggalkan kehidupan fangirling gua yang lama. Pokoknya semenjak gua di SG gua udah ga pernah buka lagi fansite 1D. Gua udah ga nge-save in foto-foto mereka lagi dan sedihnya, GUA GA SENGAJA NGEHAPUS LAGU MEREKA DARI IPOD. Kalo download lagi kok agak males ya soalnya banyak yang di banned sama Google. Jadi gua ga ada penyemangat idup lagi dan Liam udah agaknya hilang dari hidup gua. Sekarang gua ga ngefans sama siapa-siapa lagi dan gua berasa jadi jomblo ngenes. Agaknya dulu Liam bener-bener jadi sesuatu yang bisa gua ga bosen di sekolah cewe HAHAHA.

Gila gua mulai ngomong ga jelas sekarang *bitch please face*. Tapi sebenernya gua ga regret sih pergi ke SG. Cuman gua lagi fase stres aja sekarang jadi segala-galanya tampak mengerikan dan menyebalkan. I have to admit that I have LOTS of things to be thankful in my life for the past 6 months, but I just can't seem to do that right now. Definitely not after all those MYE results *pie sigh*. Mungkin kalo gua mood gua bisa cerita tentang happy moments gua di SG. Tapi ga sekarang. Oke gua capek ngetik udah dua jam. BYE! *click publish*


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