wah 2016 ended already.

it feels as if i just did my 2015 reflection 4 months ago or something. a lot has changed since then, the people whom i care about also change. im not in the mood to write a very lengthy post, but since ive promised myself a year ago that i would do this every year, i suppose it is a must to at least add another post before this year ended.

2016 passed by very very SLOWLY. and to sum up in 1 word, it is filled with a lot of MUGGINGs. im not even kidding, it is a torturous year.

the year began with an immense stress resulted from H3 lesson in NUS. i enjoyed every second of it of course as seen from my h3 post earlier this year, but vjc in turn became a hell hole in which i abhored with all of my heart. it began to dawn on me that vjc teachers were just less caring and personal. mrs chan was just a total failure since j1, ms lee was as robotic as ever, ...

anyway my point is simple: people live to save themselves. me included. i didn't give much shit to my classmates who were struggling with their studies since i had to save my own ass. i became a much quieter version of meidy -- a big contrast from 2015 because i just had to save energy for MUGGING (told you that 2016 was just filled with mugging).

come CT1 i remember i screwed up so badly until i thought that my life is over.

oh another highlight from 2016 is that i took a history tuition with mel (melissa teh). i was so desperate to save my ass in history, so i asked haili to join me so that we could get a cheaper price (both of us were desperate to improve our grades). heaven sent down the tuition offer through a whatsapp broadcast which i received from my class group (strangely). i didnt think twice to beg my mom to agree and provide me with extra money (because MOE money is insufficient).

mel is just .... a genius. she topped history FOR EVERY SINGLE EXAM SINCE J1 i mean what kind of sorcery is that. she taught us how to break down the material, which dates to remember which movements we need to memorize and what are the significance. the way she broke down an overarching question was amazing. she just knew the materials very well and could come up with unthinkable lines of argument. i was so inspired to spend as much time as she did in history. and i really did. i spent disproportionate amount of time in history until i neglected other stuffs. i started to understand the materials and actually took real interest in it, especially the Southeast Asian history. learned so much why some countries are more successful in others in terms of economic progress, national unity, or political structure; why colonial suppression has different outcomes in different countries; and how much indonesian history has been half distorted in my own country (we barely discuss history beyond declaration of independence).

jc history was the only subject that i looked forward to every day. things would be different before exams tho. i would be so stressed out and often regretted my decision to take that content-heavy subject until i wanted to pull my hair out... but in the end regardless of the stress, i ended up scoring higher than i thought i would. i hate boasting but since im talking to a non-existent reader, its fine to let out my inner ego. i was first in cohort for my history CT2 exam! It was beyond my expectation and i was so so so so so so proud of myself to see that ive come so so so so far from the bottom 36 percentile to 100. it was the proudest moment in life to see the 3 digit in vcsd. hard earned, but worth it.

omg i was just talking about history for like 2 long paragraphs. lets move on.

enough about grades, i shall talk about my friends. i barely cared about my classmates (quite disgusted at my 2015 post now). drifted away from my 2 close friends in the class due to my own fault (and partially theirs).

i also grew damn super extremely close with my roommates (h2-06-06 YEAAAAH). i still walked to school with shania every morning (something which really helped me to handle my frustration with the class). the four of us drank booze 4 times (i went drunk on sasa's birthday IM GONNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER. YEAR 2016 IS THE YEAR IM FINALLY DRUNK *confetti*) it was damn fuuuuunny i got my legs half-stuck in my desk and i looked like im getting a blow job from the chair so its DAMN FUNNY *cough*. anyway.

aiyo what else ah 2016 wasn't so great thats why i dont do best 9 in instagram.

oh we went for a family trip on a cruise! to phuket langkawi and penang with my bro sis mom mom and dad. i LOVEEEEE TRAVELLING. since none of the rest of the aunties (my mom's friends) were interested in exploring langkawi, my mom and i set to conquer langkawi islands in 8 hours. we went to this super dodgy dilapidated tourism service and rent a speed boat for 35 ringgit (DAMN CHEAP) to visit 3 islands. we were picked up by a very old van (which had a hole which allows the water puddle on the street to enter INTO THE CAR) short story ITS SO DODGY. im too scared that i were abt to be abducted so i was so quiet all the way. we reached this super ulu kampung place by the beach to get into the speed boat with a bunch of other people (thank goodness i have another female company and a friendly indian tourist whom we met in the same dodgy tourism centre).

BUUUUT the island hopping experience was super priceless.

oh shit since 2016 is ending soon in 10 minutes time i need to post this now before the year changes. in short, 2016 is boring, i hope 2017 will be more exciting. given that im starting off a new life, im pretty sure it will.












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singapore education from a perspective of an indonesian.

dear non existent readers,

do you know i should have abandoned school uniform 2 years ago? yea, singapore education made me wear school uniform for another 2 years when my other indo friends have started enjoying 2 years of their university life. im a late bloomer. all that being said, i just finished the gruelling A levels and now i am free from the singapore education contract i signed 4 years ago in that hotel room. not that im happy, but im definitely proud to see how much i have become these last 4 years.

i guess it's time to have a dedication post for my singapore education journey. 4 years seem short in indonesia because nothing much would happen. in singapore it is entirely different. it's filled with both good and not so good memories, stretching me into a more mature, intellectual, and inquisitive Meidy.

i've grown to care more about my surroundings. in singapore i learn how to deal with different types of people -- those that i have never interacted with before in my life. in jakarta i was living in a pretty much protected environment, so i was not particularly aware of these different types of people with different culture and mindsets. the exposure to friends from across the asia, and even across different towns in indonesia, has opened my eyes to different story lines that were to converge into 1 through this 4 years. singapore education is a magical place to bring people together. i suppose any experience of studying abroad is indeed priceless.

it offers you the freedom to choose whatever you want to do, and such liberty would be something that i greatly miss in the next 8 months of holiday. i can go wherever i want without needing adults to accompany me or to tell me that i should not do this or do that. i manage my own spending, so i can splurge on things that i like without feeling guilty (or embarrassed). i have never been very confident about trying out clothes in front of my mother because she would comment that 'im too fat for that' which would bring my self-esteem down. i rarely bought clothes for myself, but id like to splurge on food and books. controlling your own spending (you know singapore government pay us 2500 sgd per year to study? hmm lol) to contribute to the growth of economy is so fun and liberating.

i can go out with guys without needing my parents consent. lol. ive been to cinemas with guys like 5 times HAHAHA (and im very proud of it). if i were to stay in indonesia they would have to pick me up with their own car, or my mom would have to drive me to the mall. and i would feel damn guilty coz it's not socially acceptable y'know. like what the heck youre not even officially together and yall go out like that LMAO. night walk around the CBD area or suntec is super romantic, or along the clark quay lol i just feel like an adult every time i did that with someone :)

i learn a lot of things about human relationship. ive set my mind to be the kind of person who is straightforward (like anna akana oh geez she's my youtube idol). im done with mind game man. it's too downright tiring. last month i did something thoughtless (....). i confessed to my best friend just before As despite knowing that he won't consider me more than friends :s i didn't regret though. i think he just deserved to know that i liked him so the result is not really what i was looking for. so yea he answered no. at least i got guts to take in charge of what i want in life, so thumbs up for that meidy :)

i discover more about myself too. i learn that i only like to talk to certain type of people. i like it when people ask me the 'right' questions (figure out yourself whats the right question). after awhile i stop feigning my interest in the things that don't interest me. im more comfortable being surrounded by extrovert person (but not people). i like small group interaction, sometimes one-on-one when im very comfortable with the person.

i gained 10 kg after i came to singapore HAHAHA because i miss indo food a lot so i snacked a lot (last time). now i have stopped snacking THAT MUCH so the 10 kg is still stuck, but im gonna lose it again man. watch me.

singapore makes me exercise. i enjoy jogging, swimming (at this point swimming is my favourite sport). i enjoy travelling also. i like going museums, because they are all free for students! or very cheap la. singapore scenery is very pretty, unlike jakarta.

to be honest, i have integrated myself far much more than i thought i would. i'm the third culture kid. not even sure if i still fit in indonesia anymore for the next 8 months. it will be damn tough, then i would continue my studies somewhere else (hopefully the states). feeling so displaced i guess is normal, but it's compounded by my 'problem' of not being able to engage in small talks.

well, 7 more days to returning for good. i dont know how to feel about it tbh. bye for now.












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