Random Thoughts 2.

Today VJC held its own annual higher education fair called EdVantage for its students in the hall. I am pretty much used to visiting higher ed talks, it's really nothing new to me. But much to my surprise, many people were quite overwhelmed. Not knowing where to go, pushed to go along wherever the crowd seems to flow, being entrusted with thick brochures -- I see my friends' faces go blank. Lost faces everywhere.

Thinking about our future career -- it sounds like a daunting task for many. For the past 16 years, our lives are pretty much dictated by The System. Pre-school, Primary School, Secondary School, JC. Subjects are thrown to you to mug, then slowly but surely you cut them down one by one until you are left with four things you like best. But now, you are free to choose! Free to even stop following the conventional System's way. No one judges you for being a dancer. No one cares if you become a comedian. Seriously no one.

But you think people care, so you don't become one. And you choose to be somebody whom you think the System wants you to be.

Today I went to Changi Airport Group talk to find out more about the different departments inside the operating management. All this while I thought everything is under one body, but apparently their jobs are separated to many different departments. There are Creative Department, AirHub, Commercial... and many more. The more slides they showed us, the more eager I am to work in Changi. For once, I  finally know where I want to go and what I want to do. My passion has always been to work with a team to create a memorable experience for others. Through my experience as a Hostel Comm, I found myself enjoying these things -- being busy and creative. It all pays off when you see the smiling faces of those who enjoy your event. I feel very fulfilled, and I instantly know that I want to do this for the rest of my life.

I have never thought that Changi Airport would be a possible avenue for my hidden passion. I have always travelled back and forth Singapore for probably 30 times before realizing that airport is actually a magical place. It is the place where I feel the most excited (for being able to go back to my home country) but yet it is the place where I feel the saddest (when have to leave my friends for months before I get to see them again, or when I need to send my parents off). It was indeed a very special place, but I have always taken it for granted.

And after awhile, I realized that I only feel such intense emotion in Changi Airport, and not in Soekarno-Hatta Airport. CGK has somewhat turned to a transit place for me. A gate which separates the city I am familiar with and the plane. I enter, I wait, and I fly. With nothing to explore, CGK has failed to create that memorable feeling of extreme sadness or joy to leave Indonesia. And then I wonder how would tourists compare their feelings when they leave Indonesia and Singapore. Is it different? I suppose leaving Singapore becomes really hard when you have a pleasant experience in the airport. It is the last place to leave a mark on your mind, creating this unwillingness to leave, and strong desire to someday come back again. I feel Indonesia is lacking in terms of leaving such indelible impression in the hearts of tourists, although I personally believe we have so much more to offer than what Singapore does. And I think the onus is on me to create this wonderful lasting experience in our airport someday.

As I reached my hostel room, I took some time to read the brochures they gave me, particularly those related to Changi scholars. There is this column about what makes scholar... a scholar. As in, they discuss about various traits of a scholar whom organizations are scouting for. And I found myself fit into those traits. By now I forgot what are the 3 traits they mentioned in the magazine, but one of them was something to do with the never ending desire to make a contribution. When my classmates ask me what I want to be in the future, I seem to have clearer directions of where I want to go to and WHY. It is not an easy process, but definitely something which one can develop over time. It takes time, patience, and clear mind to ask the same question over and over again: why. I keep projecting my future-self and ask myself, will I be happy if I do this? When I was much younger I'd like to be a rich boss. And for that, I was planning to work in oil company. But again, why? If I were to become a boss, will I really be happy? What will prevent me from quitting my job? If I were to meet someone very attractive and the prospect of marrying him is looming nearby, will I become a mother instead? Or should I just be a mother right after I graduate? People say giving birth to a child is the most fulfilling role in life, but is it really? When times get hard, and my grades were not so good, I sometimes feel that starting a family is a viable option. No need to study so hard la, just be a good mother can already. But again I'm not convinced. I sit back and think of what I value most in life.

It was a blessing in disguise that I meet someone during my sec 3 year here. Through this person I see the importance of searching for reasons why you truly live for. To start creating that rough sketch of your own life grand plan, which helps you to make any decision in the future. True, you have no say in determining what shape to draw in the paper called life, but I think we, as magical pencils, have the mouth to sway the mind of the Artist. As long as we persist, and keep on envisioning it, the Artist will let us sketch the shape we want, and He will help us to touch up the ugly lines. If my analogy doesn't make sense to you, ignore it. At least I understand myself after writing my thoughts down. As my friend said before, writing it down doesn't mean that you want the whole world to know. It's okay if they don't understand what you are trying to say, but at the very least, you understand yourself better.

Today marks the day when I get to know myself a liiitle bit better. Thank you me, I love you even more after today.

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